Toxic Relational Stress in Families

You don’t want to live in the “role” your family cast you in for any longer.

You feel responsible for the feelings of your family members and are desperate to gain their approval. No matter how hard you try to please everyone, you can’t get it right.

It feels like you’re walking on eggshells in your life.

The manipulating and gaslighting has made you distrustful of your own feelings and experiences. It can feel like there’s no escape from the fear and guilt you experience within these relationships, but through therapy you can learn how to break the negative patterns and take back control of your life.

 

You don’t have to sacrifice your mental health to continue to be in a family

 

You long to be fully accepted for who you are and create healthy boundaries that support your mental and physical wellness, but you get caught in the same patterns and cycles. You have tried to set healthy boundaries and disconnect from highly emotional family interactions, only to be left feeling guilty or shameful. 

Through therapy, we will help you gain awareness to recognize toxic patterns. With support and strategies, you can begin to feel confident in making yourself a priority while still having meaningful connections.

 

How Therapy for Toxic Relational Stress Works

  1. Therapy starts with exploring childhood wounds and adverse experiences. We’ll also examine learned models of behavior and how boundaries are respected in your family.

  2. In the following sessions, you’ll begin to learn reparenting skills and how to practice daily regulation skills. We’ll work to decrease your negative intrusive ruminating thoughts about yourself; past, present and future.

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 Have any questions?

  • You don’t have to stop talking to your family or a particular family member, but we work on a lot of boundaries, this may look like not having as much daily contact, taking time before responding to a family member. Knowing your limits of how much time you can give to your family and learning to take time for yourself.

  • Ideally, the work is about you. The therapeutic trust is vital, bringing in a family member in the early stages of your healing is not recommended. But as you become more empowered, we can explore collateral or family sessions. This really is a case-by-case basis and it’s a collaborative conversation that you and I decide together, remember that your mental health is the priority.

  • A toxic family member is someone that may cause or inflict psychological, physical, emotional, spiritual, economic abuse. They have a hard time with boundaries. There can be a lot of feelings of walking on eggshells with this person. Some common things they do is gaslight, stonewall, being very controlling, and even giving us the silent treatment. These are just a few of the types of behaviors.

  • You feel like you are walking on eggshells, family labels the “crazy one or too sensitive. .” You feel like you absorb all the dysfunction of the family, this is a role in the family that are common for people.

  • The golden child is an opposite role from a scapegoat, families tend to put this person on a pedestal, their accomplishments are highlighted, even if they make negative mistakes the family tends to look away and not hold them accountable.

  • Co-dependency in families can be on a spectrum. Some families can have mild co-dependency patterns but when there are significant co-dependency patterns in a family it can have negative effects and outcomes. Some signs are lack of boundaries, feeling that you are always anticipating the emotional needs of another family member, volatile and hostile arguments at times, feelings of guilt if you put your needs first. Family members not taking accountability for their negative actions and looking the other way.